Solo travel and loneliness: the reality and how to love every second

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My previous post talked about the huge benefits of solo travel but it is also important to share the not-so-nice moments and the difficulties of travelling alone. Loneliness is the biggest factor. Let’s face it, you are experiencing a part of life that is usually experienced with others, alone. As humans we naturally crave companionship and group affinity. Travelling alone goes against this impulse and therefore it is one of the most challenging things you can do. It is also amazing, however, so I’ve put together this post not to put anyone off solo travelling but to prepare you for the realities it involves.

There are so many posts (mine included) that extol the virtues of solo travel and focus only on the good – the danger is in expecting reality to match up to internet reality.

I was really nervous for my first solo trip to Barcelona but not because I was scared about the logistics of travelling or any potential dangers. I was worried that I would get there and think what on earth am I doing here by myself?!

It is such a big thing when you travel solo for the first time – a truly peculiar feeling. I will share with you the moments I found the hardest on my first solo trip and suggest some ways of turning them around.

Night Before Nerves

The hardest moment of all is the night before you go. I lay awake with my stomach churning the night before I went to Barcelona. I had no idea how I would feel being in a foreign city by myself. The only thing to do here is to not chicken out and try to be excited rather than nervous because with hindsight you’ll know how wonderful and exciting it is!

When I arrived in Barcelona, sitting in the taxi watching the city at night pass by and the youthful energy and buzz about the place, I felt a sense of wonder and adventure I’d never felt before.

The Quiet Room

When you go back to your hotel room – that’s when the loneliness creeps in. Try to keep busy and out of your room most of the time. Use the times when you’re in your room to call family or friends back home. Put the music channels on and sing/dance to get your energy up! You can also admire your pictures and reflect on all the amazing places you’ve been! Whatever you do don’t worry – as soon as you step out the door again your excitement and adrenaline will come flooding back!

Table For One?

The main other tricky situation is eating out. There’s no denying it – eating out alone can make the most confident person feel anxious. There’s lots you can do to alleviate any awkwardness. My favourite is to take a book along. You can completely immerse yourself in another world and let your surroundings fade away. The only downside to this is you might want to enjoy your surroundings – so my other option is to people watch. Worried that they are looking at you, wondering why you’re eating alone? Look at them right back. Humans are endlessly fascinating. Watch and learn.

The way you eat can also make a big difference. Standing at a tapas bar having a casual bite is a good way to get chatting to people and make friends, whereas a fancy restaurant can feel more intimidating.

The final option which I like to deploy at all times is to embrace the mystery. Be enigmatic – who are you? A high powered career woman on a business trip? A travel blogger? Whoever you decide to be it’s someone confident enough to eat alone and everyone else knows it – rock your independent spirit!

Bottled Up

Simply not having someone to talk to is difficult. It sounds obvious but it’s tougher than you think – even for introverts like me! It’s different to being on your own back home because you have so many exciting experiences and you can’t share them with anyone! Again call family and friends. You might feel like you’re babbling on to them. But hey isn’t it great to have so much to tell people! Even if you’re not a travel writer/blogger it’s a good idea to write about your experiences so you can remember it all when you get chance to speak with someone.

My Final Tip

Make sure you find quiet places to rest. Solo travel can be draining – it’s tiring being alone and surrounded by people all the time (especially if you’re a country girl in a big city!) Find places to chill out and breathe. It doesn’t have to mean sitting in your room. It could be a park or relaxing coffee shop. Anywhere that soothes you.

Solo travel is not a perfect experience. It is tiring, draining and sometimes lonely. But it’s also magical and thrilling and confidence-building. Nothing we do in life comes without its challenges and usually the biggest challenges reap the biggest rewards. Trust me you’ll come home feeling like a new person.

Are you wondering if solo travel is worth the hassle? Read my five reasons to travel solo and start your adventures now! 

I’d love to know your thoughts on the challenges of solo travel. Share your experiences in the comments below.